When was the last time you invested in yourself, really?

I’m not talking about a day off, going to the spa, or even going on great vacation…these things are for certain self investment.Today, I am asking you about investing in your own potential.  Your own genius. Your unique, one of kind presence in this world.

Investing in your purpose, you know the calling on your life. The thing you were made for, sent here to do…..that thing that’s supposed to light you up, and make you want to jump out of bed in the morning….eager to embrace the possibility in a new day.

Women invest huge chunks of ourselves into others-our mates, our children, the plethora of people in our lives.  Why then, does it become so difficult to give ourselves the same?

Here’s the thing, for me anyway….I grew up lost. I had all sorts of gifts and talents, and lacked the internal “equipment” to know what to do with them. The world was a big – it was more than scary, and even though I went to art school for a year after high school (my dad could not stand the idea of his first born not going somewhere to school after graduation), I wasn’t in any way ready to actually be in school. I quit.  Then I got married. Had a couple kids.  I sure don’t regret either of those decisions, but what about the me that remained very much unresolved?   What about Jan?  What about all the beauty and goodness inside me that I had no clue what to do with?

Financial challenges.  Always the elephant in the room. By the time I was ready to be in school, I had kids in school, who were going to need to go to college.  Issues.  There were monster issues in my life that I needed help with.  There was no money…keep going. I did my best.  I prayed a lot. I used what I had.

This was a pattern of sorts that played out in my life for years.  I wanted to be back in art school, I needed to see a good therapist (most of us do at some point in our lives), I wanted to paint with an excellent teacher….I wanted to earn an income as an artist-doing what I was made for…but there was always lack financially to go forward in any of it.  I got twisted up in a lack mentality, and got plain stuck. Dead inside.  Depressed.

A year ago the stuckedness had taken up roost and made what seemed like permanent residence in my heart..  Couldn’t see a way out.  My sister told me I needed to see a therapist….”ya, well, I can’t afford it.”  Her response; “you can’t afford not to….” I decided she was right.

 I found a good therapist - made that first investment in myself - trusted that the money would be there. Good grief, therapy is not cheap!  I am worth the expense, the sacrifice and the Faith.   The dollars have arrived, sometimes in the nick of time.

 Money should not be the determining factor when you decide to invest in yourself. I learned this the hard way.  Be smart and learn from someone who has been there…save yourself some angst.

If you are tuned into your insides ( aware of your desire) , can hear the still-small voice of the Almighty, and sense the direction you are supposed to go, then you can trust the resources, financial and otherwise will be there.  Truth.  Stand on it.

It’s been an interesting year, a year of personal evolution and becoming. Talk about limiting beliefs…they have been there since I was tiny, and up until recently were quite invisible to me….another teaser, a subject for a future post.

Therapy has been an investment that is paying huge dividends-snowballing into other investments-things I have wanted to do all my life, but couldn’t see a way to make them happen.  I was scary close to giving up and just settling for status quo-what a soul sucking way to live.

My point in sharing about me, is simply to say you are worth investing in.  If I can do it, you can do it.  Simple.  Beloved one, you came to this earth for a purpose, you were meant to shine and bless our little planet with the bounty that is you….your gifts, talents, passion and vision. The simple goodness of your heart.

Don’t be afraid to go back to school, not necessarily to get a degree, but to equip yourself… learn a necessary skill, work with someone who can help you get through the stuck places….do what you need to do, to help  you to be the best possible version of you.  Don’t let money make up your mind for you.  Faith. Trust. Hope.

This is my year for getting unstuck. Sure, I don’t know how I’m going to get there.  That’s OK.  I will arrive. I can see it on my horizon.  I am willing to let it be real.



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