When was the last time you did something special just for you...a truly wonderful thing to nurture your own soul?  A thing where you decided to invest in simply and just you?

We really are busy.  I don't have time.  Demands-do you know how many people demand and need things from me?  Yes, I do.  Hello life!  The faster and harder you go, the better it is supposed to be. The more you have. Not so.  Living like this leaves us greatly and deeply diminished.

I can't afford it....self investment.  I can't bear the cost, in time or in money.  Neither can I, but I am going to do it anyway. 

I have wanted to paint for a very long time.  Not just dabble and putz with the paint, but really understand color and how to make it sing.  I've had glorious images in my mind, and have so wanted to turn them into something tangible.  My insides have been tugging at me for a while now...."paint, paint, paint..."  I would always find a reason to not.  I have too much going on....I can't afford it-art materials are expensive...I don't know any good teachers, and I can't afford to pay them anything....I damaged my neck and shoulder, the healing process was long-it kept me from singing much of anything for a very long time.

'Paint'...that sacred inward voice kept poking me.  My body healed-I could use a brush again.  Pushing watercolor around was easier on the damaged places than moving pencils or oil paint.  Hmmm.  Still lots of resistance.  I began dabbling with the watercolor...mostly abstract stuff, but it was fun....I still pushed it away. I was too busy.

One day, I was talking to a fellow artist friend.  In the course of conversation she mentioned watercolor classes.  They were very reasonable in price, and the teacher was an accomplished Color Master....I signed up.  Such a gift I have given myself. Not only am I learning about color, but the class keeps me focused and painting-there is a critique each week-a place to share the work you've done.  Motivation.

I am investing in me, and loving every minute of it.  I think the places in our lives where we encounter the most resistance, are the places where we need most to push in and bore through.  These are the very spots that will make our hearts sing and cause to us come beautifully more alive.  I cannot say what a thrill it is to discover and play with color-it's not as complicated as I have let it be, and has lots to do with simply feeling and responding.  I think about painting before I go to sleep at night and when I wake up in the morning...a wee bit obsessed.

My special investment in myself costs me ten bucks a week, 4 hours of my time, and a few art materials.  I've been buying these slowly, so I don't mangle the budget too badly....

My question to you, my friend, is when was the last time you did something special for yourself?  Invested in you in such a way that would cause your own heart to sing?  When we invest in us, we fill our own wells, and then of course, we are full-able to give and be better equipped for all life needs from us.  Most of us come to life and give on fumes, or just empty.  We are depleted and wonder what's wrong.  How are you going to fill your cup today, and what is that special, sacred thing you need to do for just you?



Leave a Reply